Change .

The birth of opportunity . . 

The grief of security . . . 

The creating of new familiarities . . . . 

Departing the old ones . . . . .

Change can be both exciting and terrifying. I have made a lot of changes in my life and a lot of things have changed in my life, regardless of if I had a choice or not. 
I like change. I love the seasons and how they bring about a different attitude, an atmosphere thick with anticipation of what is to come. Changes can inspire to start fresh on things that once were lost; dreams, goals and aspirations. Change brings new relationships, leaves old ones, and sparks up even older ones. But with those changes comes a deep desire and expectation for certain things to stay the same. Without some sense of familiarity, change can be draining and debilitating. That's when I hate change. Change can often cause us to cling to the familiar in hopes that we can cope with the discomfort change can bring. Then it's the familiar that arrests us from change, suffocating fresh opportunity and life. Change is necessary. Change is growth. Change is nature.

I moved to a new city. That's a change I have made.
I broke my foot on moving day. That' s a change I didn't want to make. 
I have lived in many different houses and slept in many different beds over the past 8 months and that's not stopping just yet. Some of those were my choices and some of them weren't. 
I have enjoyed the adventures of change, hated the changes I wished didn't happen and have survived. . . . but I am tired.

I am searching for a home, longing for love, and craving community, and reaching for routine.

I like change, I need to change, I want to change. So why is it so hard sometimes? 

Thoughts for now,

Leave a comment